BLOGAHOMA

Photo of the Big Rock Fire as taken by the Lawton Constitution Newspaper.

How often have heard that question? The most common answers are:  they would grab photos of the family and important papers if forced to run from a burning house and medications. When I had asked myself that question in the past I was sure I wouldn’t grab family pictures even though I love my family. On June 23, 2011 that very situation arose. We were told to evacuate NOW! as ashes fell from the sky on our burning mountain road. This is what I grabbed:

• dogs & dog food
• Cooler with water and soft drinks
• purse with credit cards,
• my ipod with my music
• digital camera
• Flip video camera
• macbook pro (which actually does hold a lot of family photos)
• Cellphone
• change of underwear, shorts and blouse
• pajamas
• tooth brush, tooth paste
• my inhaler and vitamins
• a second pair of flip flops

And I put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher and ran it and the disposal, as if we were going on a weekend get away.

The rest, well I left it all behind: a life time of art, photo albums, antiques, family mementos… left behind. After being away for a day and watching from the distance the with flames shooting up all around the mountain road that we lived on I had a moment to reflect on whether or not  had chosen the “right stuff”.  Well here’s the rub… had I selected the photo of my dad as a bus driver, the Weller vase with sycamore leaves, Michael’s painting of the rocks, the oldest stapler I own, my children’s baby teeth, my baptismal record or that pair of fused glass earrings it would have put me in funk about having to leave the others behind. Had we lost it all (the fire chief said it was touch and go) and I had taken one of those major, meaningful pieces of my life and history I would forever have the other pieces, my mother’s picture at sixteen, the Caddo artist, Silver Moon’s, bison painting, the Neva Clog deco stapler or my first grade report card, my portfolio of character art, popping in and out of my dreams allowing the sadness to creep in every time I looked at the saved piece. So what I took was living things, tech things and mundane useful things. I didn’t even take nice clothing.

Whether our house would burnt to the ground went from not believable to almost certain in a days time as the flames engulfed the mountain. At night I lay awake picturing every nook and cranny of our house and all the treasures and how they were the last time I saw them. So many treasures. And I thought what if it all goes. Would I really want to return to the Park? I needed my neighbors just where they were. How could I stand it losing it all and yet be in the same place. That is how my brain works. I came up with several scenarios of starting over, rebuilding on Big Rock Rd, in Medicine Park but only if my favorite neighbors were still there,  moving to El Reno near where my daughter was relocating, moving back to Norman, OK where we have other special friends.

None of that is necessary now. We are singed and charred but still standing and solid. Thanks to our guardian angels.. the volunteer fire departments of SW Oklahoma. So it’s clean up time.

Next time you are asked the question, maybe the answer, like mine,  will be “to let it all go”.

At any one time it is not surprising to have peaks and valleys in your life. It is the balance that you come to expect but some years are remarkable for the change that they bring about. One of those years  was 1977. After eleven years in Humorous Planning Department at American Greetings Corp and creating thousands of greeting cards I was ask to draw a ragdoll character, it was to be later to be called Strawberry Shortcake. In 1978 I moved to TCFC (Those Characters from Cleveland) where I no longer drew greeting cards but created toys. We boarded a train that year and took a trip to see the King Tut exhibit in Chicago. My husband followed crafting unique Egyptian themed pieces of jewelry.  It was the year we traveled outside the continent, we flew to England. We became aware of how old mankind was as we visited continuously inhabited places from 12th century, no longer continent bound. In 1977 after a my promotion we moved from a house in Lakewood, OH a suburb I had lived in since 1953 to Fairview Park, a place we would raise our children. That same year our future daughter would be born in Akron, OH. She came to live with us in 1981 when we adopted her.

“You must leave now, take what you need, you think will last
But whatever you wish to keep, you better grab it fast”

Forward to 2010. The year Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma came rudely barging in on our life. My husband diagnosed in the summer of the year. Followed by six months of chemo. And now in 2011 struggling with after tremors he is trying to get his feet back under him.

“The carpet too is moving under you”

In 2010 the year my daughter left her teaching position. In 2011, after a year of here and there and helping her dad and helping herself she is actively looking again. She will be landing in a new place with a refreshed sense of self worth.

“Strike another match, go start anew”.

2010 found our son’s thirteen year marriage floundering leading to a separation in 2011. What will follow will assuredly be a changed world for him.

“The lover who just walked out your door,
has taken all her blankets from the floor”

In 2010 my doctor stopped her practice and I moved on to a new doctor. One who prescribed meds to keep my asthma in check. I am back walking in the Park my husband walking along with me. The inclines are harder now but the reason to continue, an insatiable curiosity, still exists.

“Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you”

Note: Lyrics,  Bob Dylan’s It’s All Over Now Baby Blue

Disclaimer: After a 6 month chemo-rama for Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma we’ve learned a few things not gleaned from outside sources these are personal findings. Some are universal other, like I said, are more of who we are.

Chemo-Sabe: I didn’t know what it was going to be like. Was I going to be there for every one of the 24 treatments, 6 reviews with the doctor and 3 scans? As it turned out…. yes. How was I useful? … In an emotional, stand-by-your-man way that counted and and as an extra voice and ear to ask as well as listen.

Friends + Family + Facebook : It turns out that the those that said “we will be there for you” really were, practically for getting us to and from on heavy chemo days but also to ask how things were going and warmly listening. Empathy, prayers, prayer blankets, laughs, good thoughts all counted.

Nurses and Staff at The Leah Fitch Cancer Center of Lawton, OK: Skilled, positive, responsive and caring.

Self Education: Learning all we could about Non Hodgekins Lymphoma, the chemo drugs & their side effects, the blood work and nutrition.

Nook Color eReader: My husband, Michael, got his for Christmas. He is mega reader so he could throw several books on it to read. If he got tired of reading there was crossword puzzles that we completed together, magazine to leaf through on it, or a movie he could watch on it. Note: they do have cable TV in every cubicle but that soon lost its appeal for us.

A Sketch Pad: That was for me. I found I could get lost in drawing and then at the end have something that I could give someone including the nurses on staff.

Fishing Therapy: Monday (and sometimes Tuesday) chemo, Tuesday and Wednesday side effects, by Thursday or Friday Michael went fishing.

Friday night at the Park Tavern: Not for drinking but for socialization.

Rewards: A lunch once and a while, a Medicine Park event, a Marauder shoot out, a cultural trip to OKC for an art show or two.

Not ever losing sight of who we are.

Yes, I am on a roll. Oklahoma has beautiful sunsets. Use the plus sign to zoom etc.