BLOGAHOMA

“We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers.” Seneca quotes

Turning this quote around can be harder than one would imagine…. We should receive as we would give

I was taught by my parents from the earliest age on how to give. We had very little really but still we gave. I remember dropping pennies and nickels into the Salvation Army kettle when I was no taller than the money slot. My mother, who was too busy running a household of nine to go door to door, would volunteer me to collect for the Heart Fund for the Diabetes Assoc. and the United Appeal. It was  uncomfortable for me since I was extremely shy. My parents lead by example never turning away someone in need and they shared what they had, be it time, food or shelter. Once on my own and then married I followed suit opening the purse strings, and our doors when asked. So it came automatically, the giving. But receiving is a whole other life lesson, tough really, when you are not used to receiving.

In January 2010, when the ice storm of the century hit, neighbors with a wood burner took us and our two dogs in. While other friends an hour and a half north of here became hosts as we sought communication (cellphone and email) and a hot shower. We learned more deeply what it meant to receive. And now that cancer has entered our life we are accepting help from family, friends and neighbors in the form of rides, lotions, advice and time away from the chemo. We have gratefully received funding from Cancer organizations to help defray costs. Funding found by our daughter and by the financial manager for the Leah Fitch Cancer Center of Southwest Oklahoma.

Although we still give it is in smaller ways and usually not financially as our resources are directed to medical costs. And giving of time is hard as well with a chemotherapy treatment most every week and a day to recoup from the treatment. I am trying to find ways that I can still give outside our family. A drawing or print here or there, a letter, a listen, a kind word and a few coins dropped in the Salvation Army kettle. When it is all said and done we will hopefully be the folks on the giving side and know first hand what it means. We want you to know we know who you are and we know how you’ve helped and we will be there for you and others when and if we can.

For a long time I have ruminated about my monocular vision. Should I feel somehow cheated or is it a blessing in disguise. On top of one-eyed I am farsighted with astigmatism. Eye doctors are my best friends. Every two years my prescription has changed since I was 4 years old. That’s 30 eye exams and new prescriptions. I have memorized the eye chart. My left non-functioning eye sees only the top letter. The right does considerably better though with out glasses vision is blurred with halos.

One-eyedness has not stopped me from being an artist. It has stopped me from driving. I took drivers training years ago but when I took the test I didn’t see all the signs I should have and felt the roads would be safer without me behind the wheel. I failed driving twice but passed parking so I have remained parked.

Although I have read novels my preference is short stories, poetry, articles or nonfiction which I can ingest a little at a time. My right eye gets tired. Sometimes I prefer to put on the headset and have the articles on the web read to me while I scan which acts as a double sensory retention. And I love being read to. I have had the opportunity to hear the great ones…. Toni Morrison, Yevgeny Yevtushenko and Alice Walker among them.

I know from reading about monocular vision that I do not have the usual depth perception.

Monocular cues are cues to depth that are effective when viewed with only one eye. Although there are many kinds of monocular cues, the most important are interposition, atmospheric perspective, texture gradient, linear perspective, size cues, height cues, and motion parallax.

Unlike most of the movie audiences I am not looking forward to the age of 3D movies since they are set up for those with binocular vision. When an object is coming toward me it is another story. An sport where a ball or object is directed toward me immediately puts me in harms way, baseball, basketball, tennis, volleyball etc. etc. Those have hit me in the head way too often. Those sports are ones that I suck at, really. Swimming is also a problem as it requires taking off of the glasses and I am left in a blur. On the other hand if I am aiming at a target, lets say bowling, I do not suck quite as much. Actually I like bowling for that reason. My high game…. 167!

So what is the upside of monocular vision? Hard to say. I have a keen memory for what I see. I can draw/ sculpt from memory. Once when I was on a jury I came home and drew caricatures of the jurists from memory. I am also hyper aware of colors and patterns. It’s possible that similar to how ADD processes information, objects in a room all come into my sight at the same time without executive order of importance allowing an more interesting and creative view of my world. In addition I wouldn’t be surprised if I wasn’t a tetrachromat.

“A tetrachromat is a woman who can see four distinct ranges of color, instead of the three that most of us live with.” It seems I can see the subtlest of variations of a color sometimes to the annoyance of others and to myself.
I would assume my my monocular vision has rewired my brain,  to wish for the use of both eyes would probably be a mistake.
The song Spider Web by Joanne Osborne says it best…

The world is made of spider webs
The threads are stuck to me and you
Be careful what youre wishing for
cause when you gain you just might lose
You just might lose your…
Spider web

Water Allotment

post by Muriel Fahrion

Not so unusual for pipes to freeze in January but it is a rare occurrence in Southwest Oklahoma, yet it happens. Yes, thank you, we did leave the faucet dripping but nontheless when the temperature plummeted to single digits the pipes froze. Our pipes are only minimally buried due our granite rock mountain terrain and any dirt we do have is not very deep. Optimistically, we believed,  just give it a day and it would thaw. January 2010 has turned out to have record cold temperatures for our area so unfortunatly it is day number four without water. We bought several gallons at the store but it amazing how much water we use. We resorted to melting down ice cubes from the freezer but that disappeared pretty quickly. We would have melted snow if there had been any left but it was gone after a 2 day thaw after Christmas.

Yesterday my husband, Michael, ventured out into the frigid air to borrow more than a cup of water, multiple gallons in fact (that is after the car’s steering decided it would unfreeze first). We have no large container with a lid but after asking several neighbors he found  the folks 2 house up who were not only willing to lend us water but also had a large container with a lid for the transport.  Handily these good neighbors also keep numerous plastic jugs to evaporate the chlorine before they fill their large aquarium. So armed with water from his hunting gathering expedition we were ready for a few more days.

The big container was to flush toilets that we replenished with gray water from doing dishes etc. We use a large stewing pot to boil the water and then to wash dishes. There was a baking soda technique I employed yesterday in the water just to see what those seriously green people were doing.  I washed my hair in the sink but once again catching the water I wet my head with to then rinse the soap out. Although we generally pay  attention to the weather currently I have been the suns cheerleader encouraging to rise to the occasion and bring us thaw. Michael has taken the neighbors up on letting him use the shower. I am using the “spot cleaning” method with a wash-bowl as they would have done before indoor plumbing.

The Lessons…. To conserve water is really a personal choice. For us it is not about the money savings since we never use over the minimum allowed so using less would not reduce our water and sewage bill. The experience of having no running water does show us that we can be resourceful and not complain about it. It proves that being friendly and helpful yourselves means that neighbors are very willing to come to your aid when you’re in a pinch. And when the water does return to liquid form we will greet it with a shout out.

I was surprised to read some of my FB friends disparage 2009. Yes there can be years that fall in the negative category no matter how you look at them. With so many years behind me now I understand that the mix is what life is about. A little sour with the sweet. To arrive at the net happiness derived you add up the moments. Photos, letters, Twitter, Facebook, but mostly my blog documents many of those moments and puts the year in perspective. If you graphed my year it stayed in the positve range with a few plunges that marked the passing of people in my life.

I lived 2009 with all the being I could muster up at any given moment. So I say, 2010 bring it on!